A Singular-Whole-Being

Yellow!

Since now I’m in my hometown for holiday, I have plenty of free time to think about useless stuff. Like seriously. HAHA. And today, I want to share a piece of my mind with you guys about the topic of lovers. Such a cliche subject to talk about isn’t it? Meh, stop reading if you want, but I’m writing anyway.

We were born, go to school, get a degree, go to work, find a lover, have kids, die.

This is what human typically do as a living being. Therefore, it’s not a big surprise that ever since I was a kid, I have this perception of having a lover as one of the top priorities in my ‘to-do-list in Life’. Moreover, people around me and even media nowadays also kept on emphasizing the importance of finding the ‘decent’ one and getting married in the ‘right’ time. Find a guy with a great gene, the one from a good family, who has the same beliefs and values, educated, and if possible, handsome too.

I was not really concerned with this matter until I moved to Melbourne. I did not pursue any type of relationship when I was in high school because personally, I did not believe (and still do) in long distance relationship. So, when I decided to study in Melbourne, I embarked with this excitement of MAYBE finding my first lover. LOLs. Ridiculous I know. But it was true.

valentine-charlie-brown

Then, after living here for a couple months, I started thinking from another perspective. If I were that ‘perfect’ guy, will I be willing to go out with someone like ME? Then it hit me. I think I’ve been too ignorant and arrogant all these years that I kept on demanding to be ‘chased’ by a perfect guy while I don’t even put any effort to be a content and decent human being.

Now, with this revelation, I realized that I don’t want to be a person who treat her boyfriend as a part of her body without which she cannot function. I should be a whole-being myself, with or without him.

Hence, I have made a new goal; I want to set my mind into ‘repairing’ myself as a person (emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually), and also upgrading my qualities both in personality and skills. Instead of worrying about finding others, I want to find myself first. When I do, I believe that the ‘right’ one will come along eventually and instead of depending onto him, I’d be able to see my future self to be helping as a partner to that guy.

That’s it for now!

I hope you guys have a great day 🙂

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2 thoughts on “A Singular-Whole-Being

  1. I think your change in mentality reflects your growth and maturity. It’s hard to be happy with someone else when you aren’t happy with yourself. I wish you all the best in learning who you are and growing.

    Liked by 1 person

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