Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about adulthood.
Growing up as the youngest in the family may seems like THE DREAM for some people. But let me tell you something.
It is hard to be the youngest. Your parents do not put that lot of pressure or expectation on your future, yet they are waiting for you to prove something. Furthermore, if your older siblings have successfully paved their way to success, everything seems to be even harder to you.
‘You are striving to prove that you can also do something big, and that your pricey education might actually be used for something, but on the other hand you never really feel confident about the path you chose. Especially when you know that they do not expect you to do anything huge, you feel like you don’t have the right motivation to pursue things.’
Yep. I think about this quite a lot.
In my case, it is because I’m the only daughter that my family takes a huge part of every single one of my decision making process – literally about EVERY thing. I always have people to discuss things with and finally they will tell me if my decision is appropriate or not and this dynamic has been great until I reached teenage year.
The longer time I spend with them, the more I feel like I cannot hear my own voice (if I ever had one). My decisions have always been inadequate and theirs’ are the correct ones. However, now that they started to let me choose on my own (ever since I live on my own to be exact), I often doubt my choices. No one is around to ‘confirm’ my answers, and I realized that this is what adulthood really means; that is to be responsible on what you choose and be able to blame yourselves when things don’t turn out right. It also means that you have to find your own reason to do things and not to wait for others to find you one.
Thus, all I can say is that growing up is hard for everyone.
Maybe some people seem to glide through their problems easily unlike the others, but never forget that everyone has their own struggles. But that is life. The only thing we can do is to never stop trying our best in everything we do.