They say that we are attracted to people who resemble our parents. This is because growing up, you see what love between your parents looks like and that became your standard (that’s how you understand what love is). You learn how to give and accept love from seeing how they do them.
And you know what, I think this is true.
From when I was little (until now), my parents are huge on quality time. My siblings and I would not even be allowed to eat our dinner before my parents come home. So we always have dinner together, and that is for sure. I reflected on how this affects me, and turns out my strongest love language is through quality time too. Well, now I know how I got that result.
I saw my father as a loving one, a person who shows his love through his thought, time and action much more than he does with physical affection. Meanwhile, my mother is the kind of person who shows her love to my father through her unconditional support and respect to him. Like legit, I have never seen anyone who respects my father as much as my mum. She would never judge or question his decisions when he had said the word, and would be there when he needs her. I rarely see them kiss but for me what they have shown is enough to assure me that they are indeed in love. And now I realize that I don’t really crave for physical love, I want a more practical kind of love just like the kind my parents have.
However, this also affects me somehow on the kind of person I find attractive. My father has this ‘bad boy’ kind of vibe that is very palpable and I always feel secure whenever he’s around (literally in every way), and that is the feeling I want to have in my future relationship. Maybe that is partly why I don’t really find nice and weak guys attractive. But then again, I think my choices and expectations are also affected by the media and stories I digested since I was a kid. I feel like at this very moment, my thoughts and decisions are very clouded by my extreme habit of romanticizing stuff.
Well in conclusion, I just think that this statement about how our choice on partner is heavily affected by how we understand love from our parents is true. Random thought indeed hehehe.